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29 November 2011 @ 06:28 pm
Find me at laurskii.livejournal.com!
19 February 2008 @ 10:22 pm
8 Facts of Life

* Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

1. I don't honestly understand how some people can see some of the beauty I see in the world, and not believe in a higher power. I don't know what I believe, exactly, and I don't know if how I live my day-to-day life matters in the long run, but I cannot hear a child laugh, see a sunset, or wake up to the warmth of another human being and not believe that there is someone out there greater than us. It's too perfect, and too humbling to not believe
2. Ex-boyfriends are always asses. Plain and simple- they might have been the perfect boyfriend, but there's a reason you left him, or a reason he broke things off with you, and that proves that he is not perfect. And when you break up, you'll realize how much of an ass he really is.
3. I think that personality is the whole point of everything. We were given different looks as a challenge- Anybody can slap on some make-up, or get a new hairdo and look gorgeous. Not everybody can be a good person naturally. Get past your looks, whether they be good or bad, and pay attention to the sort of person you are. Would you give all your mascara away if you could feed someone for a month? Would you wear the same two outfits for a month if it meant putting a house over someone else's head for life? Would you join the army, become a doctor, join the police force? Go make someone else's world better, and get over yourself.
4. Every girl should get a really, really good pair of jeans, and wear them until they fall off. Knowing that you lived so good and hard that you wore the clothes right off your back (ass?) is a great, wonderful, horribly upsetting experience.
5. I dream of people I miss. I miss people who walk out of my life. I love the people who don't.
6. I was groped by an 11 year old this past summer when I worked at a counselor. The fact that children think this is acceptable behavior is part of the reason I'm going to go from my top-class education to being a City Officer.
7. There is this one kid who I would've given the world to, and yet, he is a complete player, ass, jerk, what have you. He doesn't deserve me, yet he's this guy who will never go away, never be out of my life. And he's the guy who I would take a bullet for, no thought involved. Explain it any way you can, and it still makes no sense.
8. Take pictures, lots and lots of pictures. They won't define your life, they won't help you to remember, and they won't capture the best moments in your life, but they're important. They just...are.

I tag everyone who hasn't yet done this.
02 February 2008 @ 07:33 pm
To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream
ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause

There was a time in my life when I thought that I was destined for something...great. I thought that I would become a doctor, an astronaut, the President of the United States. Ten, fifteen years later, those dreams seem another lifetime ago, perhaps a faked memory from a storybook I'd once read.

Not once in my conscious life have I ever been able to get to sleep without imagining myself somewhere else. I'd walk around the campus of the college of my dreams, and go to bed that night dreaming of taking a year off. I took a weekend away from the world, drove to NYC and spent two nights in a hotel room overlooking Central Park, and I dreamt of being back in Boston. I've been to Ireland, Italy, England, Spain and France, and every night I'd dream of somewhere new, somewhere exciting...of someone I could fall asleep next to.

My last two or three posts have been about this amazing guy that I've started dating. He's handsome and charming, takes me to places I've never been, and promises me the world. He's already started planning a vague future for us together, rich with kids, happiness, and security.

It wouldn't ever be enough, because every night that I curl up into his arms, I imagine myself somewhere else, with or without someone else. I'm beginning to think I'm doomed to be a nomad, a girl with eyes bigger than her stomach and an imagination to wild to tame. I need little, yet I want everything, I want for the entire world to be, quite literally, at my fingertips.

I could really love this boy, I know it. He looks in my eyes and not at my chest. He looks into my eyes and sees me, knows the thoughts in my head so clearly they might as well be his own. He breaks my heart not only when he leaves my side, but when he returns to it as well. And yet...

Could I really be so selfish, giving up everything I could ever possible get all for the chance of getting everythin I could ever want? And what if, when I've found everything I want, it turns out all I needed was everything I had in the first place?

I don't ask for material things. I'm not, however it may appear, a shallow person, for I've seen how little material things matter. But what if I'm truly meant for something more, that the ache in my heart is valid? Can I live with the ache for the rest of my life?

There was a time in my life when I used to dream. That time has come back into my life, and I don't know what to do about it.